“No Memory is Ever Alone” is a visual conversation between my dad and I. He used to bring out a box of slides that he photographed in his 20s every Christmas and made us view them on an old projector on our living room wall telling the same stories every year. It was a consistent memory from a childhood where we moved a lot and I never felt like I had a steady “place” to live and create memories.
I realized that by placing the slides in my current landscape, I created not only a connection between his life and mine, but a trail of memories, each that had its own association for both of us. I feel like the spirits of the past are all around us and these little vignettes of family life in my current “space” comforts me that they are still near, watching over me.
I did not want to Photoshop that connection. Part of the process that was necessary for me was to find the right location and feel my dad’s slides united with how I live today – a place within a place, a memory within a memory.
Benny Was a Good Boy
I thought Benny Was A Good Boy was about losing my dog. And to some extent it was, we were a pair, he was my unconditional friend for 14 years. Through photographing the last year of his life, I realized that the end isn’t really the end. It doesn’t matter if it is losing your pet, ending a friendship or relationship or the loss of your parents, I found through this series that you never really lose something, you always have the memories. I didn’t know it at the time but, in some ways, it also prepared me for the loss of my mom. All of the stages of grief you go through during a loss, having experienced them with Benny in a small way and ultimately realizing that I’ll never lose the good memories, helped me understand in a bigger way that I will never lose the wonderful memories of a loved one. They remain snapshots in our mind.
Benny Was A Good Boy series includes a hazy, grainy, closed-in mood that embodied what I was feeling at the time. Presenting the images as diptychs intensified the close relationship that existed between the two of us.
The Whole Body of Things
I have always searched for place, both a place to live and my place in the world. As a child, I moved around a lot. I had a stable family life but an unstable home. I craved that feeling of a sense of place and where I felt “at home.” This series explores my search for both a physical place but also an emotional home.
Breathing Dreams Like Air
Color My World
How to Draw a Perfect Circle
I am currently working on a series about perfection and control, which have ruled my life. I have been the quintessential“good girl” - good grades, good hair, good manners. Perfection and control have even touched me through anorexia.
How to Draw a Perfect Circle is my visual representation of perfection and control and a way to work through why it has such a hold on my life but also commenting on the ridiculousness of perfection and how underneath the surface what looks perfect usually isn’t.